A friend recently asked, “What are you doing to make a difference?”
My first response was a shame-filled, “Nothing.”
To be honest, it feels like there is little I *can* do to make a difference. The issues are so huge and so varied and everything in the outer world so loud and chaotic, it feels like anything I choose to do isn’t enough.
And then I felt the wonderful inner Nudge that I’ve come to recognize as my inner wisdom inviting me to consider things in a different way. I do care about what’s happening in the world. One of the things I’ve learned about myself is that one of my superpowers is putting Love into action. Knowing this about myself, how am I being Love in action?
I’m doing a lot more than I realized. I’ve been making meals for a dear friend who is navigating a huge life-change. I’ve sent handwritten notes of encouragement to people whose voice in the world has made a difference to me. I frequently text friends whom I know are struggling just to let them know I’m thinking of them.
These actions will not stop data breaches or deportations or trade wars. And yet, they are connections with those closest to me (and some not so close). They are offerings of care and encouragement into a world that has become obsessed with difference, hatred, and personal gain.
Imagine a stone wall with sentries posted on top to ensure no one climbs over. It seems impassible. Now direct your attention to the base of the wall. There are ants scurrying around building their nest and caring for the young, As they tend what is theirs to do, they are burrowing tiny spaces into the mortar holding the stones in place. Notice the grasses and plants at the base of the wall. Their roots push through tiny spaces in the stones and mortar. The wind carries their seeds over the wall, planting new life on the other side. Rain seeps into spaces between stones, and cold temperatures freeze that moisture, widening gaps and shifting the structure, making even more space for growing and burrowing.
Each of these forces by itself has little immediate impact on the wall, and yet, over time, the cumulative effect of them all will cause the wall to crumble.
The bigger the chaos around us, the more important it is that we focus on the small things that bring us rest or delight, and the small ways in which we can connect with our loved ones and our community. I wrote last week about the small ways in which we can care for our own hearts and nervous systems. When we then look outward from this place of self-care and nourishment, we are able to see the small ways in which we can reach toward others with care.
When I am living from this place of care, I am more likely to
- smile at a stranger when I pass them on the walking trail
- thank the server or customer service person with whom I’m interacting
- hold compassion space for my loved one’s frustration or discouragement
Those small action have the potential to create reciprocal actions in those around me. Wouldn’t our daily world be a much easier place if there were more smiles and more gratitude in our interactions? We would each be nourished, giving each of us greater capacity for kindness and for showing up for whatever kind of activism is our own “next right action”.
There are scientific studies which demonstrate that when we are faced with something hard, like climbing a hill, it seems less hard if we are facing it with a friend. The deeper and closer the connection, the easier the challenge appears.
I love this bit of science, and I love its application to our times. There is no doubt that life is just plain old hard right now. Multiple sources are telling us that the barrage of “bad news” is designed to wear us down and erode our resilience. In the face of that intentional assault on our mental and emotional health, what better response than to focus on every small thing we can find to nourish our own hearts? What better response than to choose every small action we are able to bring light into someone else’s world? What better response than to be ever more intentional about how we connect with and reach out to others?
My invitation for this moment is to make a batch of cookies to surprise some coworkers. What is your next small thing?
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